Leia's Legacy: Cinnamon Rolls

Hey everyone. I know it's been a while, and that I managed to miss both of the major food-oriented holidays this year, but the truth is, like many people, I work retail. Yes, I have a programming position, but I'm technically in retail. So spare time doesn't exactly happen for people in that field around the end of the year. In all honesty, I wasn't going to be on for another week or so as we wrapped up the last of the Holiday Hullabaloo (pun somewhat intended), but today kind of changed that.

As you're likely all aware by now, the beloved Carrie Fisher has jumped to hyperspace. That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear today. While I may have never met Ms. Fisher in person, she meant a lot to me. I literally grew up watching Star Wars, incessantly rewatching my dad's old VHS collection of the original trilogy every morning that I could weasel in some TV time. Let me tell you something, it takes some serious confidence to go parading around enemy space ships, wearing what is essentially an intergalactic potato sack, barking orders at people you just met, and throwing insults at some of the most powerful figures in the known galaxy. But the thing is, it wasn't just her screen character that was strong. It was her personal character as well. 

Flash forward nearly 40 years, and Ms. Fisher was brave enough to take back up her old role, even though she knew she was going to catch all kinds of flak for not having the same young body people are used to seeing on Princess Leia. More so than that, rather than letting the critics get her down, she stood up and told them to take their vain, hateful, hurtful comments and stuff them right into the garbage chute, because she, like everyone else, ages, and there's nothing we can do about. Honestly, I have to admire someone who is willing to be who they really are, and who can tell those who don't like it to kiss their big, hairy Wookiee. That's not exactly an easy thing to do.

So yeah. I'm... I don't know. I don't really know how to words right now. I don't really like to talk about things that I'm feeling. I usually process them through other means. When I'm anxious, I knit. When I'm conflicted, I'll paint. When I'm... pretty much anything else really, I'll cook. I don't really know why. 

What I do know is that where I come from, when someone passes on, those that care show up with food for the family thereof. I may not be able to show up to (California? Is that where her family's at? All the movie-type-things go on in California... right?) with a crockpot full of dinner, but I thought maybe I could do so symbolically. Food never makes the hurt go away, but sometimes it can make the hurt less. And right now, I know there's a lot of people mourning. 

Out of respect for the departed, I'm going to refrain from my usual joke cracking.

Ingredients:

• 2 sheets Puff Pastry, Thawed
• 1 8oz Block Cream Cheese, Softened
• 3 cups Light Brown Sugar
• 3 tbsp Ground Cinnamon

Equipment:

• 9 x 13 Baking Pan
• Spray Grease
• All Purpose Flour, For Dusting
• Spool of Dental Floss
• Mixer & Bowl

Honestly, I've never made cinnamon rolls from anything more than a pop-open can in my life. But at the same rate, I knew I had to do something fairly specific for this. I figured something reminiscent of Leia's trademark hairstyle would work. 

Mix together the cream cheese, brown sugar, and cinnamon until well combined. Spread evenly over the puff pastry, leaving a small border at the edges. Don't overdo it on the filling, though. There's a good chance you'll wind up with extra. Roll each pastry up, making sure that the starting side is tight. Use the dental floss to cut through the dough logs (it works best if you place the log on top the floss, cross the floss ends like you're going to tie it, and then just pull), making discs about a half inch thick. Put all the discs flat in the baking pan, and bake at 350 until golden brown.

Here's hoping that maybe somebody out there will see this and know that they're not alone in their sadness. Ms. Fisher, do me a favor and say "hello" to Alec Guinness ("Old Ben" Kenobi), Kenny Baker (R2-D2), Peter Cushing (Governor Tarkin), and Christopher Lee (Count Dooku / Darth Tyranus).  I'm sure you'll be in good company.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 8: Apple Dumplings

Hey everybody! Welcome to Day 8 of our Halloween Recipe Rush! Since tomorrow is Halloween, we figured we'd give you all a jump start on loading up on sugar by posting a variant of a tasty dessert my mom used to make for me. She apparently found the base recipe for Mountain Dew Apple Dumplings while floating about on the internet one day, but we're going to take that to the next level.

Ingredients:

• 1c Granulated White Sugar
• 1c Pumpkin Spice Sugar
  • You can buy this pre-made, but it'll likely wind up being expensive. I reccomend using the pumpkin spice sugar we made earlier this week here
• 2tbsp Ground Cinnamon
• 1/2c Butter or Butter Substitute, Melted
• 2 Apples
  • I used Granny Smith apples, but you can use whatever kind you like
• 2 Cans Of Croissant Dough
• 1 Can Mountain Dew
  • My husband has informed me that soda is made with entirely different recipes depending on what country you're in. For the record, the Mountain Dew used here is the plain old "green" American kind; the kind made with high fructose corn syrup. For what it's worth, I did manage to get my hands on some of the "green" kind made with sugar instead of corn syrup many years ago and used it in a similar recipe. It turned out well.

Equipment:

• 9"x13" Pan
• Spray Grease
• Oven
• Mixing Bowl & Spoon
• Knife

Cut the apples into 8 pieces each, being sure to get rid of the core. Make sure that none of the pieces has any seeds remaining in them. Optionally, you can decide to peel the apple pieces as well. Wrap each apple piece in a croissant dough triangle, and place them into the generously greased pan.

In the mixing bowl, combine both kinds of sugar, the cinnamon, and the melted butter. The idea is to have a thick paste; feel free to add more granulated sugar as needed. Spoon the paste over the tops of the wrapped apple pieces, spreading it to mostly cover each piece. Once you've used all the sugar paste, open the can of Mountain Dew and pour it into the space between the dumplings. Don't pour it over the top, or else you'll wind up knocking all the sugar paste off.

Contrary to popular belief, these are not
barbecue wings. Confusing, I know. 

Bake for 20 minutes at 350F or until croisant dough is fully cooked. The sugar paste should form a nice crunchy crust on top the dumplings. Note that the Mountain Dew "sauce" will thicken up a bit as the dumplings cool down.

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! Also, this week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 7: Graveyard Cupcakes

Hey everyone. I know this recipe is coming at you a little bit later in the day, and I apologize. Wound up having to fight with my oven. It decided to activate Sabbath mode, which I have no clue how to use or turn off or anything. After an eternity of fighting with it, the oven randomly decided to revert back to normal mode, and I was able to get back to cooking.

So, without further ado, Graveyard Cupcakes!

Ingredients: 

• Brown/Black Cake Mix
  • Any of the zillion varieties of chocolate will work
• Ingredients Called For On Back of Cake Mix
• White Almond Bark / Wilton Candy Melts
  • Henceforth referred to as "chocolate" for ease of writing
• Brown/Black Frosting
  • Again, any variety of chocolate will work
• Green Sugar Sprinkles

Equipment:

• Microwave-Safe Tall Coffee Cup
• Microwave-Safe Piping Bags & Tips
  • Go with these
• Skull & Skeleton Candy Molds
• Icing Spatula
• Muffin Pan
• Oven
• Muffin Pan Liner Cups
• Small Bowl

The actual cupcake part of this is fairly easy. Follow the instructions on the back of the cake mix for creating the batter, and then divvy it up into the muffin pan liners in the pan. Bake according to directions on box.

While the cupcakes are baking, melt the chocolate according to instructions, and carefully pipe it into the candy molds, tapping the mold against the work surface to remove any air bubbles. Note that if your candy molds are particularly deep, like my skull molds were, you'll want to fill them only partially full, or else they will be difficult to eat. I filled the skull molds only half way full. Pop these into the fridge until the cupcakes are done.

I didn't use the rib cage or skull on the skeleton molds
because the pieces were big enough to have dominated
the cupcakes

Let the cupcakes cool completely, and then apply a very thin layer of frosting to the top of them. Just be careful not to make it too thin, or else you'll wind up tearing up the tops of your cupcakes. Place just enough green sugar sprinkles into the bottom of the small bowl to cover the bottom of it. Carefully and gently roll the tops of each cupcake in the green sugar sprinkles, making sure not to hit the sides of the bowl. Add more sugar sprinkles to the bowl as needed.

Carefully pop the candy bits back out of the mold, and place them on the cupcake tops using a wee bit of frosting to adhere them.

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! Also, this week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 6: Nightmare Before Christmas Cookies

Welcome to Day 6 of our Halloween Recipe Rush. Day 6. That means we've been turning out recipes every day for almost a week now, and you all have been breaking record after record keeping up with us. We gained a whole hundred likes this week, and the week's not even over! Crazy isn't it?

Today we're going to go with something inspired by that nostalgic old movie, The Nightmare Before Halloween.

Ingredients:

• Sandwich cookies
  • I used Oreo cookies. Your standard grocery store Oreo knockoffs will work. Or pretty much any cookie about the same size.
• White Almond Bark or Wilton Candy Melts
• Black Almond Bark or Wilton Candy Melts
  • For ease of writing, hence forth both colors of this will be referred to as "chocolate"

Equipment:

• Candy Molds
  • The ones I used here are two Celebrate It molds that Michaels sold with their Halloween seasonal stuff this year. If you can't get ahold of these or something similar, you can freehand the chocolate directly onto the cookies. Just apply the chocolate in reverse order from what's listed below.
• Microwave Safe Piping Bags and Microwave Safe Candy Decorating Tips
  • Wilton has you covered. Pick up some of their disposable piping bags and this tip set. Whatever you do, do not use conventional metal piping tips in your microwave. You're cooking here, not making a Michael Bay film.
• Tall Microwave-Safe Coffee Cup

Wilton is great, really. They have instructions on how to properly melt and use their candy melts and the corresponding products. I suggest you read the back of the bag and follow along. I do have a tip, though. I found that it's much easier to get the melts to, well, melt more evenly if I stand the bag up (making sure it has the "plug" tip on the coupler) in a microwave safe coffee cup.

Once your chocolate is melted, use the fine point decorating tip to carefully trace the details in the molds with the accent color (black for the skeleton heads, white for the spiderwebs). This will take some practice to get it done right. Don't expect these to come out looking perfect. Let the chocolate in the mold harden slightly before applying the next set, to make sure that it doesn't wind up getting squished up all weird.

The next step is to carefully fill the mold half way up with the ribbon decorating tip, making sure to fully reach the edges. Tap the mold gently on the work surface to work out any air bubbles, and gently press a sandwich cookie into each mold cavity. I recommend filling one cavity with chocolate, tapping it, and then sticking the cookie in, to make sure that the chocolate doesn't harden too much in the meanwhile.

The rest is quite simple. Pop the molds into the fridge for about 10 minutes or until the chocolate is hardened, and then pop the chocolate-covered cookies out like the same way you would ice from an ice tray, adding light pressure to the back of the cavity as needed. Be careful not to collapse the cavity, as you'll damage the mold. 

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! Also, this week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 5: Pumpkin Spice Cotton Candy

Welcome to Day 5 of our Halloween Recipe Rush! We've got a special in store for you today. It's a bit of a long story, but many moons ago, I wound up landing a good deal on a cotton candy maker. I then proceeded to look around for the flossing sugar for it, but instead found myself wandering across an obscure corner of eBay, which, of all things, gave instructions for mixing cotton candy sugar at home. After a lot of experimentation and the release of seasonal ingredients, I finally figured out how to get decent results on a pumpkin spice variety.

Ingredients: 

• 2c Granulated Sugar
  • This is the regular old "white" table sugar that looks like salt.
• 2tsp Liquid Pumpkin Spice Flavoring/Extract
  • I like to use Lorann Pumpkin Spice Baking Emulsion. Just make sure that your flavoring doesn't contain any particulate matter, because it'll interfere with the flossing process, as the particulate matter won't melt like the sugar will.
• Food Coloring

Equipment:

• Mixer With Bowl
  • Trust me, you'll want a high-speed stand mixer for this, because trying to use a hand-held mixer and get everything added in properly while holding the bowl to keep it from achieving low earth orbit is a nightmare.
• Cotton Candy Maker
  • The one I use is the Nostalgia Electrics Retro Red model. It's served me quite well.
• Cotton Candy Cones
  • My cotton candy maker came with a set of reusable plastic cones, but you can either buy paper ones, or make your own out of printer paper. I'm personally not too fond of eating off of office supplies, but that's just me.
• Rubber Spatula

****Before you even think about making cotton candy, check your weather forecast first. High humidity or impending rain make it a nightmare to try to and spin the sugar out properly. ****

Put all of the sugar into the bowl of the mixer, and turn the mixer to medium high. Make sure it's not spitting sugar everywhere. Carefully add the flavoring a drop at a time while the mixer is running, being sure to land the flavoring into the sugar and not onto the side of the bowl. Give the mixer plenty of time to get it mixed in before adding the next drop. You'll want to stop the mixer and scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl every few drops. Follow suit with the food coloring. I found that a general ratio of 2:1 yellow to red works well. You'll want to dye the sugar much darker than you want the cotton candy to be, as the cotton candy is mostly air, and will ultimately make whatever color the sugar is become a vaguely pastel shade.

Make sure you get all the dye mixed in.
As you can see, I missed a spot and had to take
it back for more mixing.

Once the sugar is fully mixed (note that it will be kind of like castle sand in consistency), turn on the cotton candy machine, and let it come up to temperature. Then add the manufacturer-recommended amount of sugar to the extractor head. Mine is a smaller household cotton candy maker rather than an industrial one, so for me, the recommended amount was 1tbsp. 

This part will take some patience, but wait for the sugar to start forming strands around the edge of the machine bowl. When they've accumulated enough to be "cottony," gently place the cone over the bowl and twirl it slowly, allowing the cotton candy to grab on to the cone. Keep twirling, making sure not to point the cone downward into the bowl, picking up more strands as they form. This will take some practice to get right, so don't expect your first few cones to look perfect. Once the cotton candy ball is sufficiently sized, switch to a new cone. When the sugar strands start to slow down, add more sugar into the extractor head.

Any cotton candy that you're not immediately eating needs to be stored in a zippered plastic baggie, or else it will quickly draw moisture from the air and become a sticky mess. Same thing with the sugar itself. Unused sugar is fairly shelf stable. 

Cotton candy is always fun for Halloween, because you can totally skip the food coloring and pretend it's spiderwebs, or make what looks like giant ear cleaning swabs. The sugar itself is also quite tasty and can be used on its own for decorating or adding flavor. It goes amazingly as "sprinkles" on top of anything with frosting.

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! Also, this week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 4: Pumpkin Patch Cake

Hey everyone! It's Day 4 of our Halloween Recipe Rush, and let me tell you, it's been an awesome week. We've broken several records here at Epic Feasts over the last few days for viewership, post likes, etc., and it's all thanks to you, my dear readers! The bigger my reader base, the more often I'll be able to post recipes, so if you like what I do, be sure to share it with your friends!

Today we've got something that can easily be the centerpiece of your table, and is quite easy to make. Done right, your Pumpkin Patch Cake will quickly be the life of the party.

Ingredients:

• 2 Boxes Light-Colored Cake Mix
  • White cake mix works well, as does any of the Yellow or Butter varieties.
• Whatever The Cake Mix Boxes Call For
• White Frosting
  • Premade works well, but if you make your own, make sure it comes up to the same consistency as the store-bought stuff.
• Green, Yellow, and Red Food Coloring
• Spray Grease
• 2tsp Pumpkin Spice Extract
  • I like to use LorAnn Pumpkin Spice Bakery Emulsion. You could likely get away with using a mixture of spices, but I'm not 100% on the amount to use. Best of luck.

Equipment:

• Large Mixing Bowl
• Small Microwave Safe Mixing Bowl
• 2 Stir Spoons
• Bundt Pan
• Cooling Rack
• Oven
• Cake Tester
  • I actually like to use this onion holder thing that I got a while back that has a lot of spikes on it, so I can get a good sampling of what's really going on inside the cake, because with my luck, if I use a single-spike tester, I always wind up hitting that one bit that's done when the rest of the cake is raw.
• Cookie Sheet

The first thing you'll want to do after preheating the oven to 350F (325F for dark pans) is fully grease up your Bundt pan. Yes, even if it's a silicone pan. Just trust me on this one. Don't over do it on the grease, otherwise the outside of your cake will fry and get all crunchy, but make sure you cover all of the inside of the pan, especially around the center post. Set the pan aside for the time being

In the large mixing bowl, mix up both of the cake mixes according to the directions on the box. After it's fairly smooth, you're going to dye the cake mix orange and add the flavoring. If you started off with a yellow cake mix, it'll take less yellow dye to get it the right hue. Start of with a little bit of dye at first, because you can always add more. Trying to take the dye back out? Well... that's another story entirely. For "white" cake mixes, a ratio of 2 drops yellow to 1 drop red usually works, adding in increments of that until the batter is the right color.

Regardless of if your Bundt pan is silicone or not, I recommend placing it on a baking tray (cookie sheet) for ease of migration. Evenly distribute the batter in the Bundt pan, trying to keep any of it from getting on the center post. It's not the end of the world if the batter winds up there, but I'd recommend wiping it off, as it'll burn while cooking and be all crunchy-weird. Your Bundt pan should be a little over half way full.

Now, this is a double cake, so it'll take more time than a regular cake would to bake. I think mine took around 45 minutes on convection mode, in a silicone pan. Metal pans may cook differently. I'd say start with 20 minutes and test it in 10 minute intervals. Be sure to poke the cake tester into the "thickest" part of the cake ring. 

Once the cake is fully done, pull it out and let it cool off. While it's cooling, put the frosting in the microwave safe bowl, and microwave it in 10 second intervals, stirring in between, until it becomes just barely "soft" and easily stirrable. Stir in enough green food coloring to make the frosting a vibrant green.

Once the cake pan is cool enough to safely handle bare handed, but is still warm, hold the cooling rack over the top of it and gently flip the two of them over as one unit. Set the combined pieces on your work surface, and then gently try to lift the pan off from both sides at the same time. Mine actually came off quite easily, but I've used silicone bakeware a lot and am used to greasing it properly. If your pan (silicone or not) doesn't come off easily, gently vibrate the pan while applying even pressure around the edges. If your pan is silicone, you can try to gently peel it off / push the bottom inward. Be careful, as you don't want to rip your cake.

Once the cake has cooled completely, transfer it to a serving dish using both hands and drizzle the frosting over the top. You can microwave the frosting again for just a bit if it has hardened back up, but be careful not to make it too runny.  It's worth noting that the outside of the cake will be slightly brownish once it comes out of the pan, but the inside will be wonderfully orange, and looks beautiful when cut.

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! Also, this week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 3: Midnight Magic Moon Pops

Welcome to Day 3 of our Halloween Recipe Rush. Before we get started, I just wanted to say a quick "hi!" to our readers in India and Brazil. We've apparently been gaining some traction there recently. It always amuses me to read through my blog audience stats, because I honestly never thought I'd have an international audience. When I started this, I figured maybe at best I'd get a few friends reading my posts. Thanks for proving me wrong!

Tonight's recipe is specially chosen so that your children (if you have any) can pitch in and help out, and will definitely enjoy the results. Midnight Magic Moon Pops!

Ingredients:

• White Chocolate Pudding
  • I used Hershey's White Chocolate instant pudding mix, but you can totally use pre-made out of the cups or cans. You can also use vanilla if you like, but I personally prefer the chocolate, especially since it has a better coloration for this purpose.
• Mini M&M's Candy
  • You all saw what I did there. Although you could totally use Reeses Pieces. Don't ask me to come up with a witty name for that one, though.

Equipment:

• Ice Ball Mold
  • You can totally get away with nearly anything that you're willing to freeze, but the shape will be much less moon-like.
• "Sticks"
  • I wound up using some "treat sticks" that I found at my local Michaels store. Anything that will slide all the way through the hole in the ice ball maker will work, if you're using an iceball maker. I do advise testing it first, otherwise you're going to wind up with the awkward situation of all of your moon pops conjoined with the top half of the ice ball mold. Yes, I may have found this out the hard way.
• Mortar and Pestle
  • A meat mallet or rolling pin will also work well, just bag the candies first. And not in one of the cheap baggies either... it's likely to burst and spew candy bits all over the place.
• Piping Bag With Tip
  • You can use a plastic baggie minus the corner, but the piping tip makes the pudding much easier to control.

Take about a cup of Mini M&M's Candy and smash them up in the mortar & pestle (or other methods), being careful not to smash them up too small. You'll want the color bits to still be visible. Go too Hulk-smash on them, and you'll wind up with chocolate powder, which is specifically why I didn't recommend a food processor. Believe it or not, I actually had to call my Dad for help with using the mortar and pestle, because it had been so long and I apparently now suck at smashing things with it. Once you've got them smashed, gently mix them into the pudding.

With the ice ball maker open, place a few whole Mini M&M's Candy pieces. From here, you're going to load the pudding mixture into the piping bag and fill the bottom half of each ice ball to just below the "equator" of the mold. Pack a few more Mini M&M's Candy pieces in on top, being careful not to push the pudding up and over the edge of the mold.

Optimists will see this mold as half full. Pessimists will see it as
half empty. Me? I'm a realist. I see them as delicious.

Carefully seal on the top half of the ice ball mold. Make sure it's all the way on properly, otherwise you're going to wind up with Magic Saturns instead of Magic Moons. Fill the rest of the ice balls up through the hole in the top, using the piping bag. Once you think you have them full, channel your inner paint shaker and gently vibrate the ice ball molds for about a minute, ideally making sure you gently tap it against your work surface each time. You'll notice that this will force the pudding to settle, and you'll have to "top off" the ice cavities.

Place your "sticks" in through the hole in the top of the mold, and pop the whole operation into the freezer over night. Don't get impatient and start squeezing the pops to see if they're done... that causes them to become misshapen. Yes, I'm guilty as charged. Moving along.

So I got a bit over zealous and over filled some of them. Oh well.

After they've frozen solid, all you've got to do is get the moon pops out of the mold. That's much easier said than done, I know. You'll have to gently pry all the way around the top half of the mold, being careful not to dislodge the sticks. It's totally the sticks that causes the problem here, otherwise you could just rip the top of the mold off like a wax strip. Ow... that hurts just thinking about it. Once you have the top off, the bottoms are much easier. Just gently press the bottom of each cavity upward, and the pop will come right out.

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! This week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 2: Bloody Maggots

Thanks for tuning in to Day 2 of our Halloween Recipe Rush! Hopefully you enjoyed yesterday's Reeses Cheesecake.

I usually try to stay away from the "gross out" recipes, mostly because food is supposed to make you want to eat it, not make you turn your nose up at it (okay, well, except for broccoli, but let's not go there...). In all honesty, this recipe was never intended to be used as Halloween-themed food, but wound up getting put onto this list after some well-meaning wise cracks at the dinner table. So without further ado, Bloody Maggots!

Ingredients:

• 1 Box Spaetzel
  • You can totally make this stuff from scratch, but my grocery store happened to have it premade in boxes. Charged an arm and a leg for it, but I have a day job. What can I say?
• 1 Can Tomato Sauce
  • While a little grocery store in Rural America managed to have German egg noodles available, somehow they didn't have tomato paste. I was really hoping for the short squat cans of the thick tomato guts, but no such luck. Somehow I wound up with a "soup-sized" can of "tomato sauce". I think they lied. I think it really was cheap tomato soup. Oh well. Whatever.
• 1/4c Grated Parmesan Cheese
• 1 tbsp Garlic Powder
  • I *love* garlic. So feel free to tone this down a bit.
• 1 tsp Parsley, Powdered
• 2 tsp Onion Powder

Equipment:

• Large Pan
• Small Pan
• Colander
• 2 Stir Spoons

No, this recipe does not involve any actual blood or maggots. Although I am quite aptly reminded of that one scene from Flushed Away. Good times. Good times.

Zoomed in, they look kind of more like Cheetos

The spaetzel noodles are pretty easy. Just cook in the larger pan according to the instructions on the side of the box. The funny part is that once the water gets to boiling quickly, the noodles get to self-stirring, and actually do look kind of like squirming maggots.

While they're boiling, in the smaller pan, combine all remaining ingredients on low, stirring until well combined. Keep a close eye on the sauce -- you don't want it to boil. You just want to warm it up. And it will scorch if you lose track of it, so stir it if it starts to bubble.

Once everything's all done, serve it up! I managed to track down some neat little silicone cauldrons at my local Michaels store, along with the "treat sticks" that you see stuck in there. But I'm sure the food would taste just as good in a standard bowl. 

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! Also, this week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Halloween Recipe Rush Day 1: Easy Reeses Cheesecake

Hi everyone! There's one week till Halloween, and we here at Epic Feasts intend on celebrating by having updating with a new recipe every day until then! Woo food! Tonight's recipe is, oddly enough, courtesy of my husband. I use that phrase specifically because he claims not to be creative, or like cooking, or like sweet things, yet somehow this glorious wonderfulness is his brainchild.

Ingredients: 

• 1/2c Reeses Chocolate Peanut Butter
  • For some reason this is infernally difficult to find near where I live... the only place that I've been able to reliably find it is at Dollar General
• 1 8oz pkg Cream Cheese, Warmed
  • Don't get the reduced fat stuff. It won't incorporate right.
• 1 "Regular" Tub of  Whipped Topping, Thawed
  • Feel free to use Cool Whip, but regular old store brand stuff works just as well.
• 1 Oreo Pie Crust
  • I got a store bought one, because it's supposed to be an "easy" cheesecake. I'm sure someone with enough time on their hands could make a homemade one.

Equipment:

• Mixer or Heavy Duty Whisk
• Mixing Bowl
• Rubber Spatula

When I said easy, I meant it. Toss everything except for the Oreo pie crust into the mixing bowl, and make sure it's well worked in. You'll probably want to stop the mixer every once and a while and scrape the sides, because this mix just loves to glue itself to the bowl. Once it's all together, just scoop it out into the pie crust, and try to even out the top. IF you can abstain from consuming the pie long enough, it's best to chill it in the fridge for a few hours for ease of serving purposes, and to give it more of that cheesecake texture. While it's totally cool to just go at it with a spoon without doing that, you're really looking at more of a chocolate peanut butter mousse in a crust. 

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let us know in the comments below! Also, this week is our Halloween recipe rush, so be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss a single one.

Homemade Potato Chips

Anybody else here love potato chips (crisps, for our Brittish readers)? I know I do. However, I'm not exactly fond of paying for a bag of air with a few potato crispies in the bottom. Pringles is at least on the right track -- you haven't seen anybody build a raft out of Pringles cans. I'm not a huge fan of trying to deep fry my own chips, mostly because there's just so much chaos involved... one second too long and you've got construction material rather than snacks, so I originally thought that I was going to be pretty much at the mercy of Frito Lay company, until I came across a company called Mastrad. They're a French cookware company that makes some amazing silicone products, but I won't bore you with a nerd moment about them.

Anyhow, they apparently make this silicone tray-thing that you can make microwave potato chips on. And, oddly enough, they actually turned out pretty well, I will say. You can pick it up at Amazon, but for the love of everything, make sure that you get the one with the mandolin. I've seen a lot of people get the one without the mandolin and then complain that they can't cut the potatoes thin enough. No surprise there -- the ones without the mandolin are meant to be used as expansion trays, since you can use up to three of them in the microwave at once. 

No oil needed, so no added fats. Awesome, eh? I'll admit, the first thing I did after my chip maker kit arrived was headed to my local grocery store and grabbed an assortment of popcorn seasonings, because who doesn't want options? All told, a 10lb bag of potatos and about 10 different seasonings was about the same cost as 5 bags of pre-made chips, which, as we all know, equates to one fully-filled bag of chips. 

In all honesty, as long as you have the potatoes pre-cut, you can actually make this into a bit of an interactive after school snack, which works especially well if your child brought friends with them. My personal advice, though, is to repackage the seasonings into smaller containers if you're going to let smaller children use them. Moderation isn't exactly something to be comprehended by young minds. Small cheap salt & pepper shakers work well. 

Also, if you can somehow get away with storing a bag of potatoes in your dorm room, you can make some really fast, really cheap munchables. Potatoes are so versatile, even if you're only running on the bare minimums of cooking materials. Baked potatoes are (nearly) just as good done in the microwave.

Anyhow... enough yapping. I promised chips, and I'm delaying them. Last time I checked, that was a good way to lose an arm. 

Ingredients:

• Potatoes, Peeled
  • I used Idaho potatoes, but you can use whatever. I've not tried it myself just yet, but rumor has it that sweet potatoes also work out well
• Choice of Seasoning / Spices
  • I was a total bum and went straight for the pre-mixed Kernel Seasons popcorn flavoring, but you can do whatever. Or even just a pinch of salt.

Equipment:

• Mandolin Slicer
  • Just use the one included with the chip kit. It's calibrated to produce the exact thickness of slices that you'll need for this.
• Mastrad Top Chips Chip Maker
• Microwave
  • With a turn table, and make sure that the chip disk can fit in it easily, without brushing the sides.

Okay, so you can technically make these with the peel on, and that's supposedly where all the nutrients are at, but I don't do potato peels. So, I peeled them.

The first thing that you'll want to do is slice up the potatoes with the mandolin. Be careful here... I've seen a lot of people hurt themselves on a mandolin slicer, but for the most part, as long as you're paying attention and are appropriately cautious, you'll be fine. You'll want to get the potato slices into water immediately, to prevent discoloring. That weird pink-brown potatoes get when they start oxidizing is not appealing at all.

I usually just put the mandolin over the bowl of water to expedite the process.

I suggest only cutting up one potato or two at most at a time, because they go really far. One potato was more than enough to quell the ravenous snack monster living in my stomach.

From here, the cooking actually gets pretty passive. Simply line up a layer of chips on the disk, and microwave until crispy. For me, this meant 3 minutes, taking the disk out, turning all the pieces over (handle with care, the disk may be hot) and microwaving for another minute and a half. Note that not all microwaves are created equal, and I have a bit of a beastly one. After the initial three minutes and flip, cook in small intervals until you get the timing right for your unit. You can always cook the chips longer... you can't uncook them.

If you bought more than one disk, you can load up the second one while the first one is cooking. If not, well, sit tight and wait for the first one to come back out. Once your chips are crispy enough for your liking, season with whatever you want. You may possibly want to mist them with some sort of liquid (such as a light olive oil) to get the seasoning to stick, but I was perfectly fine with just putting them in a small bowl and using the chips to scoop up whatever seasoning fell off of them.

How did yours turn out? What kind of potatoes did you use? Let us know in the comments! Also, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to stay up to date on all the newest recipes.

Joining Forces

Diabetes. It sucks. I have nowhere near as much right to say that as the people afflicted by the disease, but still. Even just the thought of that is about enough to make me keel over. But you know what? Sometimes life isn't about things being perfect. Sometimes it's just about being able to make things suck less. That's the driving force behind The Type 1 Diabetic Cook blog, operated by a dear friend of mine. So today we here at Epic Feasts are proud to announce that we've partnered with the author of said blog, Samantha Evans, to provide diabetic-friendly alternative ingredient lists and associated information on applicable recipes.

Sometimes conversions can take a while to figure out so if you don't see a secondary ingredient list when a recipe is launched, don't worry. We'll issue notifications when a recipe has been updated to reflect the additional list.

Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss anything!

Guilt-Free Pumpkin Pie Pops

Our last post in our themed series was a dorm food recipe, so this time we're aiming for something that will pass for an after school snack, for those in the audience contending with the younger stomachs. As a number of various places have pointed out, it's remarkably hard nowadays to find a  suitable "snack" for children that isn't loaded to the brim with sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, food coloring, or other miscellaneous bits that we're told are bad for us. Me? Well, I'm on the train of "if it doesn't taste good, I'm not eating it." Turns out it took a bit of work to find something that would satisfy both of those points and still qualify as something snackable.

After much research, it turns out that pumpkins are roughly equivalent nutrition-wise to carrots. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have discovered this, but you're telling me that I spent my entire childhood with people attempting to feed me carrots, which I still can't stand to this day, when they could have just as easily handed me something pumpkin based and I'd be begging for more? Everyone out there with a picky eater, be them 2 or 20, take note.

Now, I will admit, pumpkin items do have a bit of a stigma attached to them, mostly on the grounds of being inanely fattening. Turns out you can capture all of the wonderful delightful flavor of pumpkin goodness without having to revert to wearing sweatpants for a week.

Ingredients:

• 1 Can Pumpkin
  • Check the ingredients to make sure that it's just pumpkin squish. Some times it's hard to tell the difference otherwise between pumpkin squish and canned pie filling.
• 4c Low Fat Vanilla Yogurt
  • I used the store-branded regular stuff, but I'm pretty sure that you could use Greek yogurt instead
• 3tbsp Cinnamon
  • This is really a to-taste thing. I was using cheap cinnamon that was probably a little bit older than it should have been, so adjust accordingly.

Equipment:

• Popsicle-Making Equipment
  • I wound up using the Zoku Classic Pop Maker that I found at Michaels over the summer, but the old plastic-cups-and-popsicle-sticks route works just as well.
• Freezer
• Blender
• Rubber Spatula

The actual active part of this recipe is remarkably easy. The waiting for the popsicles to actually harden up... well... that's the more difficult part. Put all of the ingredients into the blender, and blend until well mixed. I would say until smooth, but everything going in to this is smooth to begin with. You'll likely have to stop every so often and scrape the sides of the blender, because pumpkin kind of likes to stick. 

Thanks Mom for the powerful blender!

In all honesty, you can totally stop at this point and just eat the yogurt blend, with or without some granola. It's rich enough to satisfy the "it's been a long day, I need junk food and Netflix" urge, just for the record. But if you've got the patience to let it freeze, just distribute the yogurt blend into whatever you're freezing it it, pop it into the ice box, and wait.

Popsicle making has come a long way since the early 90s

How did yours turn out? Be sure to let me know in the comments! For all the latest recipes and updates, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Dorm Food, Epic Edition: Easy Thai Peanut Noodles

Good afternoon, my wonderful internet friends. I'm finally back. As I stated several blog posts back, I *do* have a day job (as much as I'd love to get paid to just cook things and write about it... we can all dream, right?), a life, and general responsibilities that I have to stay on top of. That and, as the many of you that have been doing the whole adulting thing much longer than I have are aware of, sometimes Murphy's Law just drags you to the proverbial vet to get metaphorically neutered. Oddly enough, in my absence, Russia and France were leading my viewership by location stats. I say "oddly" because I didn't really think that I had garnered an international influence just yet. So for everyone that read my work while I was gone (and for those of you that have just been waiting for the next update), rejoice! We're live again!

I'm going to try something a bit different and attempt a series of "themed" posts. Given that it's more or less the start of August, most of you have probably guessed it: I'm going to focus on school-related things! Okay, well, sort of. I'm going splits between food you can get away with at the dorm, and after school snacks for my people out there who either have or care for children. Themed posts usually come with some rules, so here's what I'm rolling with. For dorm food posts, I'm shooting for things that don't really take any special equipment to make, and that utilize foods that are either generally considered college staples (in America at least... context makes everything make sense), or that can be found at the dollar store / for relatively cheap. For the after school snacks, I'm aiming for things that appeal to the collective tiny human palate, are generally easy to eat, and aren't too atrociously unhealthy. So no epic sugar explosions, but I may reserve the right to call for a small bit of chocolate or caramel.

That all having been said, today's post is from the dorm food side of the theme, in honor of my sister, who's heading off to college this year. Congrats, kid! You did it!

Living in a very rural portion of the United States, it's fairly hard to be exposed to any form of international cuisine, discounting the cheap most-assuredly-NOT-authentic Asian Buffets that crop up pretty much everywhere. But, many years back, my mom hit some sort of, I don't know, massive food clearance sale at somewhere that carried all kinds of wonderful foreign ingredients, and brought me back several bags worth of goodies. Among the plethora of delightfulness, I found what I eventually figured out was a cup-noodle variant of Thai Peanut Noodles. Now, I realize that this is probably a far stretch from the real stuff, but I wasn't going to complain. I was just thankful it wasn't fried chicken. Long story short, it was **amazing**.

There was only one problem with this, though. After having ran out of the stock pile that my mother got on the cheap. I went to the grocery store and found out that getting more of them was going to be insanely expensive. Ugh. Turns out it's not that hard to make, though. Full disclosure: the recipe you'll find below is based off of some research that ultimately landed me on All Recipes.

Ingredients: 

• 1/2c Creamy Peanut Butter
• 1 can Coconut Milk
  • If you can catch them on a good day, Dollar Tree actually carries this in their food section
• 3tbsp Lime Juice
• 2tbsp Soy Sauce
• 2tbsp Hot Sauce
  • I somewhat cheated here. I used sriracha (rooster) sauce. I didn't bother to check if it actually was available within the price range, but you can use whatever hot sauce you want, and I've seen plenty of hot sauces on the shelf in the dollar section. Although, seriously, every parent that's reading this for their kid in college, send them a bottle of sriracha. It lasts forever and is super versatile. It's honestly about the only reason I didn't go insane at college, because it gave me the capacity to break up the monotony.
• 1tsp Garlic Powder
  • NOT garlic salt
• 1/2 tsp Ground Ginger
• 2 pkgs Ramen Noodles, Minus Flavor Packets
• Water

Equipment: 

• Stove or Hot Plate
• Pot
• Sauce Pan / Skillet
• Stir Spoon
• Heat-Resistant Whisk
• Strainer

Good news! This recipe is fairly easy and will actually serve two people, perfect for splitting with a roommate or a significant other. If you only want one serving... well, if you've made it to college, it's pretty widely assumed that you can accurately do simple division.

You're going to need to break out your multi-tasking skills for this recipe. In the pot, put some water on to boil. In the sauce pan, put all of the coconut milk and the peanut butter. You're going to want to put this on the lowest setting your burner has. You're basically just trying to barely warm it up enough for the peanut butter to get a little less thick. This stuff can and will burn very easily, so unless you are trying to sacrifice your dinner, assume I'm dead serious about the lowest heat setting thing.

Trust me, it'll look better here shortly. 

Once the water in the pot is boiling, put in the blocks of ramen noodles. Meanwhile, you're going to want to be gently but thoroughly stirring the peanut butter until it essentially melts into the coconut milk. It starts out looking kind of... weird, but it'll get ironed out eventually. Actually, I stand corrected. If you're ironing the sauce, you're doing something wrong. From there, fully mix in all of the other liquid ingredients, and season to taste with the herbs.

A little patience goes a long way.

Once your noodles are done cooking, strain them and transfer to a bowl. From here, you can add as much sauce as you want. I'm really more of the kind that prefers a whole bowl of sauce with a few rogue noodles in it, but I'm weird like that. All that's left to do now is to let it cool.

How well did yours turn out? Let me know in the comments!

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Firework Tower: A Sweet Addition To Your Independence Day Celebrations

Happy Independence Day, everyone! Hopefully you're all being safe out there. Do me a favor, though. Every time that you thank a military service person today for keeping the freedom, be sure to thank an emergency services responder for always being there to clean up after the people that celebrate a little too hard, eh? The freedom to carry on about our usual lives has as much to do with the people who contend with civilian issues as it does with the people who face the battlefront. If you're reading this and you've served our country in any capacity, military or otherwise, I salute you.

Now, today we've got a real treat on our hands. This is courtesy of two people... Danish food blogger Mat over at Kvalifood for giving me the inspiration, and my old roommate Shirley for giving me the necessary equipment.

I call it the Firework Tower, as I feel that it accurately captures all of the fun and festivities of watching fireworks. However, this is technically a take on a Danish dessert (not to be confused with a Danish pastry, although you know you're doing something right when your country has an entire food named after it) called "kransekake." There's about as many spellings of that word are there are letters in it, so I'm going with the one listed on the product name for the specialty pans needed to make this. Traditionally, kransekake is made with marzipan-type-stuff, but this one is made with cookies, as almond paste is expensive. And that's putting it lightly.


Equipment:

• 1 Set Kransekake Pans
  • I used the Fox Run Non-Stick Kransekake Pans
• Mixer
• Piping Bags & Tips
  • I used a smaller star tip for this... but feel free to use whatever. As long as you've got the GOOD plastic baggies and not the cheap ones, you can usually get away with one of those instead of a piping bag
• Cake-a-Whirl
  • I broke out my trusty ol' Wilton Trim & Turn
• 12in Cake Circle
• Cooling Racks
• Spray Grease

Ingredients:

• Cookie Dough, Half Red, Half White
  • I actually used 2 boxes of Betty Crocker candy cane cookie mix, left over from Christmas. It has a slight peppermint flavor, but I found that it works well for this. You'll want the dough to be slightly stiff, though, so I made it with slightly less butter and water than called for.
• 12oz (Block & 1/2) Cream Cheese, Softened
  • Don't get the reduced fat stuff... it doesn't work quite right
• 1/2c Butter Or Substitute, Softened
  • As usual, I used my cheap old store brand vegetable oil spread. What? Real butter is EXPENSIVE.
• Blue Food Coloring
• Lots of Powdered Sugar
• 1tbsp Vanilla Extract
  • I used imitation extract... you may need less if you're using the real stuff. Taste testing is a thing here... be sure to use it.
• Flour

The first thing that you'll want to do is preheat your oven to 350F, and spray down the insides of the kransekake ring molds with grease. Grease is your friend here. While that's warming up, start rolling out the dough into snakes, trying to get each one about half the width of one of the kransekake rings. Twist the two colors against each other into a rope, and load it into the ring molds, starting with the inner rings. Work in parts about 1/3 the length of the ring, and follow it around, gently squishing the ends together.

You'll want to squish the dough down so that the top of it is pretty much even with the "high part" on the ring mold, as cookie dough likes to spread out when cooked, and you don't want your rings fusing. You can usually work the "extra" dough further down the ring, filling in any cracks. Repeat for all rings.

You'll want the cookies to be fairly stiff by the time that they come out of the oven, so no soft-baked ones here. For me, that was about 15 minutes on convection bake. Times may vary. While the cookies are baking, you can start in on the icing.

Much like the cookies, you'll want a fairly stiff icing, as this is what holds the whole operation together. Mix the butter, cream cheese, and vanilla together until well blended, then slowly add the powdered sugar, mixing on medium. Alternate adding food coloring and powdered sugar, until desired consistency and color are achieved. Now, the type of butter that you're using and the ambient humidity can greatly affect the amount of powdered sugar that you have to use in order to get a stiff icing. You'll want it soft enough to put through a piping bag without bursting said bag, but hard enough that it doesn't run when at an angle. This took me about 6 cups of powdered sugar, but it had also been raining all day.

Once the cookie rings are done, take them out of the oven and let them cool completely, in a dry location. The cooling is important, as it allows them to finish stiffening up. Once they're cooled, free the rings from the molds. I found this was fairly easy to do by running a fingernail round the entire outside of the outermost cookie ring, removing that ring, and then repeating for inner rings. DO NOT mix up the order of the rings. Seriously. Don't.

Find the largest outermost cookie ring and adhere it, as centered as possible, to the cake circle with the icing. Then, go with a zig zag pattern around the ring, making sure that the icing comes down over the edge of the ring.

Find the next ring in the size series and gently press it into the icing on the just-decorated ring. For what it's worth, the ring molds are made to where the size progression involves the outermost ring from each set, then, starting back with the original mold, the middle ring, etc.

From there, it's pretty much repeat, repeat, repeat (but no lathering or rinsing, please) until all the rings are finished. In the event that you're wondering which ring really comes next, "float" it above the assembled bits in order to find out... don't let it touch the frosting until you're sure. Otherwise you're looking at a mess.

For what it's worth, this piece makes an amazing center piece. Feel free to decorate it with little flags or whatnot. Also -- it's worth noting that there are tons of other countries out there whose colors of representation are red, white, and blue, so, my international readers, feel free to commandeer this as needed for your own respective patriotic celebrations.

Cocoa Crumpets: An Edible Celebration

As many of you are likely unaware, today marks the 30th anniversary of my singular most favorite movie of all time -- The Great Mouse Detective. A remnant of the days when the villains of children's movies could actually have a personality and character rather than being generic egotistical cocky bad guy #7, the film was actually one of the first Disney movie to use any substantial computer animation, ultimately laying the groundwork for the visuals in some of their more well known movies, notably Beauty and the Beast. 

While it saddens me that The Great Mouse Detective has ultimately fallen out of the light of widely known Disney animated features, I must celebrate the day that this wonderful piece of work was released to the public (and hope that it's included in the Disney-to-Netflix migration coming later this year). As such, I've made crumpets, or a take on them at least.

Not being of anything vaguely resembling British descent, I had to consult the internet on where to start with this particular escapade. Ultimately, I wound up drawing on Bread A Day's crumpet recipe as my initial springboard, and kind of went a bit... astray from there (I really need to check this out more... it's an entire site devoted to BREAD. That's like... 50% of my diet). My version is made to be more of a sweet crumpet, rather than an English muffin impersonator. 

Ingredients:

• 3c White Cake Mix, Plus Extra
• 2 Eggs
• 2c Whole Milk, Plus Extra
• 4tsp Baking Cocoa
• 1pkg Dry Yeast
• 2tbsp Butter Or Substitute, Melted

Equipment:

• Mixing Bowl
• Whisk
• Griddle Or Frying Pan
• Spatula
• Plastic Wrap
• Sifter or Fine Sieve 

Be ye forewarned: there's a lot of wait time involved in making these. Not like active prep time where you're having to do things, but more to the effect of "you won't be able to eat these shortly after breaking out the ingredients." So if you're hangry and in need of an edible sacrifice immediately if not sooner... check out my Oreo Mousse instead. 

The first bit that you'll want to do is whisk together the eggs, milk, and butter, until they're well blended. Once that's all together, you'll want to mix in enough cake mix to get a batter like you're making pancakes. This may take a bit more or less, especially if the humidity level in your area is tripping out. If you over do it, no biggie, just add more milk. Fully whisk in the cocoa and yeast. 

Now comes the tough part. You'll want to cover the batter with plastic wrap and leave it somewhere vaugely warm-ish to rise until it's all bubbly. Mine took over two hours for that to happen, but I also made the mistake of leaving it in an area where my husband controls the air conditioning. I'm pretty sure I saw a Yeti go skirting about the room. 

For now, we shall part ways. But 'tis not forever. 

Once you've actually survived the wait, heat up your griddle or frying pan, and grease it lightly with... well, whatever your preferred pan-greasing-method is. Getting the temperature right on these will take some work, so you'll want to start with only pouring out one of these at a time until you get the temperature set right. This is the point of the show where some people break out egg rings or English muffin forms... I just kind of free handed it due to the lack thereof. It's really kind of like making pancakes. 

Turns out about a quarter cup of the batter is enough to get a crumpet that's sufficiently large, yet still easy to turn over. It stays one way up until there are lots of bubbles (apparently the main distinguishing factor between crumpets and English muffins is the bubbles) and the top is "dry", then you flip it over and finish cooking it. 

I discovered two things while cooking these. One is that my griddle doesn't cook evenly. Sadness. Secondly is that these are amazing with Papa Murphy's cream cheese dip that comes with their cinnamon wheels. One of these days, I'm just going to have to go in there and ask for a gallon of the stuff. Caramel sauce or butterscotch ice cream topping also works really well. 

Fruit Gusher Cupcakes: An Experiment of Sufficient Deliciousness

Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since you all have heard from me, and I apologize. Turns out that when you've got holes in the roof of the place where you usually cook... it causes some problems.  Especially when it's rainy season. Yeah. If anyone knows where to go to protest to get Murphy's Law repealed, let me know.

That aside, I've got a new recipe for everyone today that's actually my husband's idea. I was kind of surprised when he brought this idea to me. Don't get me wrong -- he's a great cook, he's just usually not into sweet things, which is what caught me as odd about his suggestion. But, whatever. I present: Fruit Gusher Cupcakes! (As I typed that, there were fireworks going off outside. Heh. Makes me feel like I did something important.)

Now, I'll admit, I'm no professional chef or anything. As stated, I have a *very* different day job. I'm just the kid that figured out through trial and (more than I'll ever admit) error, how to feed herself through means other than the takeout window. Although I'm guilty of using that option more than I should. That having been said, these are very much an experiment. We kind of just... rolled with it, really, and went on a grand scavenger hunt through the house for ingredients. Over all, things turned out fairly well. My only real complaint was that it was storming at the time I was doing the frosting, so the humidity and the decoration didn't dance to the same tune.

Spoiler Alert: the Fruit Gusher doesn't melt. I was kind of surprised by this, as I've seen what happens to these if you accidentally leave them in your car. Yes, I am an adult. Yes, I am eating Fruit Gushers. I am old enough to make my own decisions and buy my own groceries.

Anyhow, here's what you'll need for to set up your own laboratory:

Equipment:

• Mixer and Bowl
• Mini Muffin Pan
• Mini Muffin Liners
• Mini Muffin Holder (Optional)
  • I used the Wilton 3-in-1 caddy. I really like the design as it keeps the cupcakes nice and secure
• Piping Bag + Tips
• Spoons
• Mixing Bowl
• Whisk

Cupcakes:

• White Cake Mix
  • I used a Pillsbury Moist Supreme White Cake mix
• Fruit Gushers

Icing:

• 4c Powder Sugar, + Additional
• 1/2c Butter or Similar
  • I used the store-branded "vegetable oil spread". What can I say? Real butter is **expensive**
• 1tbsp Whole Milk
• 6tbsp Tang Drink Mix, + Additional

The cupcakes themselves are pretty much straight forward. Follow the directions on the back of the box for making the batter. Yes, I am that much of a bum. What can I say? Fill your muffin pan full of liners, and fill each cavity roughly half way full. Much fuller than that, and they'll overflow when cooking. No dentistry here. Then, push a singular Fruit Gusher into the middle of each batter cup. Okay, I somewhat lied. The dentistry will have to come later. 

I got a hold of a mixed box of Fruit Gusher packs, where apparently half the packages are strawberry, and the other half are some sort of tropical roulette. I wound up drawing out 3 strawberry packages and 1 fruit roulette. The odds were not quite in my favor. Hence why most of them are red. 

You'll want to bake these until they're fully cooked. For me, that was 10 minutes at 350F, in a convection oven. Baking times may vary. Just keep an eye on them. That's the most important part here.

While the cupcakes are roasting, start on making the frosting. Start off with the butter and milk in the bottom of the mixer, and mix in about half the sugar and Tang drink mix. Slowly add in more powdered sugar until the icing is thick enough to use. Humidity can play a huge part in the amount you'll have to use. You'll want for the icing to be fairly thick so that it'll stay together when you put it on the cupcakes and not slide right back off. Unless you want a glaze. Then by all means, go for runny. Your call. 

Making judicious use of ye olde taste test, add in more Tang mix as needed. Just do it in small increments, because you can quickly turn from barely being able to taste it to having your face turned inside out. Anybody remember the face from the warhead candies? Yep. Right there.

Let your cupcakes cool completely, so that they don't melt the frosting, then go to town with all your icing and frosting skills. I used a star tip and just did a generic swirl about the cupcake, but feel free to turn loose with it. Also, general note: I found that they were *much* easier to apply frosting to once they were in my cupcake carrier, because the edges of the mini cupcake tray held them perfectly in place and apart at a decent enough distance. Do yourself a favor and start on the row away from yourself and work across then forwards. Yeah, there's a nice streak of delightfully-flavored frosting running up my arm that says I speak from experience. 

Enjoy!