Now, I know that for some people, making this particular recipe is going to be really expensive, mostly because 9 of the 10 containers bought won't make it back home. But try to contain yourself. Or at the very least, have a designated driver. And maybe some moist towelettes. Yeah, those will probably be a good thing.
What am I doing? I said Nutella and I'm standing between you and it. My bad. Please don't rip my arms off... I'mma move now.
Equipment:
- 4qt Pot
- Stir Spoon
- Cups
- Or a bucket. I'm not going to judge.
- 6c whole milk
- Skim milk won't cut it here
- 4oz (half block) cream cheese, softened
- Don't get the "fat free" stuff... it doesn't melt right
- 1tbsp vanilla extract
- If you use the real stuff, you'll likely have to turn this down a bit. I used the fake stuff because I'm a bum.
- 1 c Nutella
- 2 c mini marshmallows
Garnish (Optional):
- Moar Marshmallows!
- Pirouette Cookies
- For this one, I used the vanilla kind, but I don't think that they make a version that would go poorly with this.
Put the milk, cream cheese, Nutella, and vanilla in the pan, on medium heat. Make sure you put the milk in first, otherwise the Nutella and cream cheese will adhere to the bottom of the pan and make a sticky mess. A delicious sticky mess, but a mess none the less. It also works out better if you cube the cream cheese first, but you can also totally just take out whatever inner frustration you have by mashing it with your stir spoon as it goes about the pan. What can I say? It's cheaper than therapy. Also, while it's tempting, don't use a whisk to get the Nutella and cream cheese mixed in well. You'll just spend most of your time trying to push the bits of cream cheese back out of the whisk.
Remember, you're not working for a boil here, you're just working for warm, to melt the Nutella and cream cheese. It'll take a bit, because, if you're storing your milk properly, it'll be cold when it hits the pan. You'll also want to stir it constantly, because milk is a finicky beast and likes to scorch easily.
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| Even the ingredients are stoked about Nutella Hot Cocoa |
Once all the cream cheese is melted in, add the marshmallows. Yep. You're going to melt them in too. And you're going to have to stir a LOT here, because, as any of you that have ever jousted with Peeps know, heated marshmallows get BIG, *fast*, as you can see:
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| Just keep stirring, stirring. What do we do? We stir, stir. |
When you start reaching the maximum height capacity of the pot you're using, slide the pan off the heat, and keep building your upper body strength until there's no chunks left. Should look about like this:
Now, trust me, you're going to want to let this cool down a bit. First reason is that if you dive into it now, you're going to burn your mouth, spew Nutella goo everywhere, ruin your pajama pants (because who wouldn't be wearing pajama pants while cooking this?), and leave your family members with some very... "interesting" photos to be used against you at a later date. Secondly, this stuff actually thickens up quite a bit as it cools, courtesy of the marshmallows. Much like wine, it gets better with age. Except that you can still drive after binging on this. You might glue yourself to the wheel, but you'll still be able to drive.
The rest of this is pretty simple. Just put the wonderful chocolatey nectar of the gods into whatever you intend on transporting it to your face with, and garnish appropriately. Whether or not you share it... well, you're old enough to make your own decisions.
The rest of this is pretty simple. Just put the wonderful chocolatey nectar of the gods into whatever you intend on transporting it to your face with, and garnish appropriately. Whether or not you share it... well, you're old enough to make your own decisions.
[Editor's note: As much as we wished that we owned it, Nutella is a registered brand of Ferrero, who, at this time, neither supports nor endorses this blog. Maybe we'll get lucky and that'll change. No objections here to support payments in jars of Nutella.]
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