With the intent to make wonderful sweet things, I rushed home in excitement, but... then my plans took a little bit of a detour. I got home and discovered that I needed to make dinner in general, and, as much as I would have loved to have done it, I couldn't do just pastries for dinner -- my poor husband would starve. I still wanted to make use of the forms I had just bought, so I got a little bit creative.
I give you meat horns! No, no, you gotta say it like the Ricola commercial. (Bonus points for anyone who uploads a video of someone saying "meat horns" like said advertisement and links to it in the comments.) Wonderful cheesy meaty goodness stuffed into glorious homemade bread. Anyone that's got people coming over for a Memorial Day fooding, this is what you need. They make for some really good finger food.
Equipment:
- Cream Horn Forms
- Baking Sheet
- Mixing Bowl & Spoon --OR-- Bread Machine
- Can you guess which one I used?
- Knife or Pastry Cutter Wheel
- Rolling Pin
- Cutting Board
- Paper Towels
- Skillet
- Spatula
- Small Spoon
Ingredients:
- 1 lb Ground Meat
- 1 Box Bread Mix
- Sour Dough works amazing here, but "Country White" also works. I used a Krusteaz branded mix
- Butter, Melted
- Okay, confession. I was a total bum and used spray butter
- 1tsp Garlic Powder
- 1tsp Onion Powder
- Pinch of Salt (Optional)
- 1tsp Worcester Sauce
- 1c "Fancy" Shredded Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese
- All Purpose Flour
- Spray Grease
- The edible kind, not the WD40 kind. That stuff tastes terrible. And it may be flammable?
Before I get started here, I suppose that I should make a clarification. I've mentioned some specialty equipment here, and for those of you that don't know what cream horn forms are, this is them:
I want to make it clear that I didn't take this picture, nor was I involved. I just happened to find it in my camera roll after my husband cleaned up the kitchen. I'm honestly trying not to fall out of my chair from laughing. In other news, they also make great claws in the event of a random Halloween costume event.
Shenanigans aside, this recipe as a little bit of a lead time, mostly because it works best with fresh bread dough. For the most part, you're going to want to follow the directions on the box for the bread dough, minus the baking it part. For some of you, that'll mean putting the bread machine on "dough" mode, whereas others of you have a lot more hands-on time involved. Or, if it's your thing, go totally from scratch. Just be forewarned that you'll want a nice dense bread when this is all said and done with, so whatever that takes.
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| Long live the bread machine. |
Once you've got the dough, you'll want to cover your cutting board in a light coat of flour, along with your rolling pin. Trust me, it'll be a nightmare if the stuff sticks. But, as my first time making these will tell you, if you over do the flour, the dough won't stick to itself and chaos will ensue.
Dump the dough out onto the cutting board (hopefully you're using a large one), and, using flour as needed, get the dough rolled out to about an eighth of an inch thick, and at least 12 inches in one direction. It will fight with you a bit, but be patient. From there, cut strips long ways, about an inch thick.
You'll want to apply a mild layer of grease to the cream horn forms before wrapping them in dough. I've found that spraying a paper towel with the grease and then gently patting the form works well. Much more than that, and the dough winds up on the floor. Also, due to the shape of the form, spraying them directly isn't recommended. In related news, the water dispenser panel on my fridge is very slippery right now.
Starting at the smaller end of the form, start rolling the dough around the form, making it overlap just slightly. Don't worry if it's not perfectly aligned... it'll bake right up together. Also, note that the easiest way I've found thus far is to put the dough strip on the table, put the form on the dough strip, and slowly roll it up from there. You'll want to make sure that the pointy end is sealed shut pretty nicely, otherwise the meat is going to slide right out the bottom. Also, make sure that the open end isn't obstructed... you'll want to be able to get the form back out. Unless eating pointy bits of metal is your thing. At which point you should probably see a doctor. Urges to eat non-food items is an actual medical condition called Pica, and it's quite serious.
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| It'll take some practice to get these right |
Spray down the baking sheet with grease as well, and line up your completed dough horns about two inches apart, as you finish them. It works best if you manage to get them to stay seam side down. On convection bake, these only took about half as long as the instructions recommended for baking time, which makes sense given that the surface area is much greater than the standard dough loaf lump. When they're about 5 minutes from being done, carefully coat the horns in butter and put them back in the oven.
While the dough is cooking, scramble fry the meat, like you're making tacos. When it's mostly done cooking, drain off the fat (as posted previously, NOT down the drain), and return to burner. Make sure you shake off as much grease as possible, otherwise you'll be looking at soggy grease horns for dinner instead of meat horns. Season with worchester sauce, garlic powder, onion powder, and salt. When the meat's fully done, turn off the heat and stir in the cheese until everything's all good and melty. Put to the side.
Switch gears again. Once the dough horns have cooled enough to handle, carefully remove the cream horn form. They seem to come out fairly easily with a gentle twist. If yours has an open seam like mine do, make sure that you twist in such a way that you don't dig the upper piece of metal into the bread.
From here, all you've got to do is transfer the cheesy meat mix into the bread horns. I found it's easiest to start with a small spoon and gradually press little bits of meat down into the horn. You've got to be careful with how you use the spoon, though, or else you'll wind up stabbing clean through the side of the bread.
Now, try not to wind up in a food coma, eh?
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